STAMPS!

I had absolutely no idea getting married in a foreign country could be so difficult.  We talk about bureaucracy in Australia and think our government systems are full of red tape and getting something done, like buying a house or dealing with centerlink can become a nightmare.  But that is absolutely nothing compared to the legal process of getting married in Egypt.

If you ever have the urge to go through the process of getting married in Egypt, my only advice is to think really hard about it...I mean, do you love him THAT much?  Because, apart from the huge cultural differences you and your partner will endure, you will have to navigate your way through the most complicated web of red tape that will take you on a sight see tour of Cairo.  The image that pops up in my mind is that advertisement for tourism in Victoria where the girl gets a giant ball of red wool and rolls it all over Melbourne until it is all unraveled all over the city.  Looks like a whole heap of fun when she does it, but getting married in Cairo requires a whole heap of paperwork that needs to be stamped by every major government organisation there is in Cairo in all parts of the city.  There is no government website telling you what you require the whole process feels like a complex 5000 piece puzzle and just when you think you have the last bit of blue sky in place you realize that the last bit just doesn't fit quite right.

Mena and I tried to complete this process when I visited him in April and only got so far.  We had to settle for legal arrangement that wasn't recognized internationally and all for one piece of documentation that for whatever reason Mena could not obtain from the Coptic church.

July...take two....still no success.

September, we have the mystery documentation that is holding up the whole process and we are able to really tackle this whole thing head on.

Back to Cairo we go for the third time.  And, just in case you happen to be going through this process in the near future ....here is a list of documentation we needed to have an internationally recognised legal marriage in Egypt.

1. 5 passport photos
2. 2 copies of my passport and visa
3. 2 copies of Mena's national ID 
4. a document for each of us from the hospital stating that we are both fit enough to get married (ie, able to have children and neither of us is HIV positive.  Can be obtained quite easily without any of the necessary medical testing for a 'fee').
5. A declaration from the Australian Embassy stating that I am single and don't have any children and am free to marry.  (To obtain this I pay the Embassy a 1800 Egyptian pound fee and fill in a form).
6. A document from the Coptic church stating that Mena is not currently married.
7. a family stamp from the post office (by way of paying a marriage tax.  Looks just like a postage stamp)

Of course all of this was made so much easier when I got my passport wet and over stayed my tourist visa.  So I had to apply for a replacement passport and apply for a new visa, paying a 150 Egyptian Pound (or $AU24) fine.  The passport was quite easy.  Just put the application in and wait 10 working day and collect from the Australian Embassy in Cairo.  The visa, however, was a huge pain in the butt.  The visa office in Cairo is at Tahiri square, where all the protesting for the revolution occurs.  There was no protesting while we were there but it's right in the middle of the city and the building is crowded and old and there are a tone of people there all fighting their way to the front of ques at different windows trying to get their various types of visas.  

"You need to fill in this form...go down to that window...buy those stamps...wait in that line...come back tomorrow and wait in this line...give it another 2 hours and return to the other window"  

Each new window is a battle field with bodies pushing their way to the front and people holding their documents over the top of people in order to get to the front of the cue.  I imagine this is what Hell might be like, with the weeping and moaning and the gnashing of teeth.  Well, maybe not quite that bad.

Then there are the stamps for each of the documents.  The embassy paper work needed stamps from 2 different government offices in 2 different parts of the city.  Mena's Coptic church document needed to be stamped by the police to show he was not a wanted criminal. It also needed to be stamped by a father from the mother church in Cairo.  These particular stamps took 3 days to obtain.  All up with the collecting of documents and getting all the relevant stamps, the process took a whole week.  We traveled from one end of the city via taxi or on the Metro.  It was like a crazy version of the amazing race and our final destination was the marriage office.

On our final day in Cairo, we had made it.  We had been up and down, in and out.  We had all our documents, stamped, and re-stamped.  Everything was in order.  We had finally made it.  So off we went to the marriage office with our two witnesses, Mena's uncle and his friend Beshoy.

We submit our papers and hold our breathe as a very important man behind a very large desk reviews them and checks we have everything we need.  Once he was satisfied he hands our papers to a man sitting at....A COFFEE TABLE!  That's right, the man that did most of the processing from that point was operating from a coffee table in the corner of the room.  

He asked us a few routine questions.  "What is your name?"  "What is your father's name?"  "What is your mother's name?" and we wait while he translates all of this into Arabic.  

"Do you accept this man as your husband?" the man behind the coffee table askes.  I turn and look at Mena who keeps his eyes straight ahead, but can feel me looking at him.  I almost want to laugh.  How can anyone ask this of me after the week we had, trappings from one end of Cairo to the other...what if I said no right now?  I couldn't even conceive of the idea.  

"Yes" I answer.

Then the man behind the coffee table points to a line on the form.  "Do you have any special conditions you want to list?"

"Huh".  I wasn't prepared for that questions.  I didn't know they were going to ask that.  If I'd know I would have come to them ready.  I look at Mena again and a whole heap of things run through my mind. 

Possible list of conditions that enter my mind at this point:

1. He must take his dirty dishes to the kitchen
2. Don't leave your towel on the floor
3. address me as your highness or oh great and wonderful wife
4. rub my feet every afternoon after work.
5. Don't complain about my rubbish cooking
6. ect, ect, ect

The one line they put on the page wasn't a big enough space by my estimation.  If they had given me enough warning I'm sure I could have added a few pages of amendments.  As it was I was put on the spot and just answered no.  

We wait while someone types all this up.  When it is done we go back into the office and put our own stamps on the document.  Our thumb prints needed to go on each copy over the passport photo that is attached.  5 thumb prints in total, one for each copy of the document.  In the end I thought it might be a good idea to stamp Mena.  I tried for the middle of his forehead, but only managed to get him on the wrist.

Once that was complete, we were finally married legally in Egypt and in Australia.  YAY, we are done....not quite....would you believe it ....we needed to travel to two other government offices after that and have the document stamped twice more.

I look back on this experience now and think "WOW" we achieved something amazing and hard and we did it together.  If this is the kind of thing we can work out together as a team now, imagine what we might be able to do in a few years time when we know each other so much more.  After all of that, I feel like I know Mena a whole lot more.