This and That

Well, it's been a while since I wrote a blog, mainly because my laptop had heart failure and needed to go in for repair.  However, since my last blog a fair bit has happened here for me in Egypt.

First things first, my mum came to visit from Australia.  She arrived at the end of December and stayed for 3 weeks.  It was so great to see her and I was so glad that she took the trip.  It's a long journey to Egypt, but my mum handled the journey like a seasoned traveler.  It was great that she made the trip as at the moment Mena and I can't really leave Egypt as he doesn't have his visa to travel to Australia yet.  She has met Mena on Skype, but I think she really wanted to meet him in person and see what our life is like here in Egypt.

In a lot of ways I think she was surprised.  I can't speak for my mother and I don't really know her true feelings and opinions, but she noticed first of all the poverty and dishevelment of Egypt in general.  Things don't 'work' here as good as they do back in Australia.   Garbage collection, building standards and the general running of public services is kind of below par here (putting it nicely).  This was one of the first things she noticed.  On the other hand I think she enjoyed seeing all the sights and spending time with us.  Mena was able to get her a great deal on a Nile River cruise, the same kind of cruise I was on when I met Mena.  And when I say 'Great Deal' I talking one sixth of the price she would have paid had she purchased her ticket in Australia or even from a travel agent in Aswan.  I was pretty impressed myself because not only did she get a great deal, but where ever we went Mena seemed to know someone and because of this people bent over backwards to help us out or give us a great deal.  One friend of Mena's gave us a tour of a local Temple, he spent the whole day with us and didn't take a single Piaster for his trouble.  At the end of the day he insisted on buying us tea in a local coffee shop.  It's nice being on the arm of someone people like and respect.  When we picked mum up after her cruise she looked light and breezy.  She seemed so relaxed and I think she had a great time.

Mum also got to meet my new Egyptian family.  My mother and father in-law as well as my sister in-law and her husband and their two gorgeous kids.  We spent a little bit of time with them before we headed to Cairo so mum could see the Pyramids and the Egyptian museum.

Mena's grandmother and some Aunts and his Uncle live in Cairo so we were able to spend some time with them too.  Mena and I hadn't had a church wedding and making sure we did this was important to Mena's family, so while we were in Cairo Mena's Grandmother and Uncle arranged a Coptic wedding for us.  It was a well planned affair and the social highlight of the Cairo suburban scene.

A day after we arrived in Cairo we headed to Mena's Grandmother's church where I was baptised as a Coptic Christian.  This was essential and a Coptic wedding would not have been possible without it.  So first things first, I was baptised (again).   We still weren't sure if the Priest could do the wedding.  These things take a bit of arranging and because we are in Egypt we had to make sure all our papers were in order (again).  It wasn't such a big deal this time though and the Priest agreed to marry us in the church the very next day....that's right...the next day!

So off we went!  Had to find a dress and suit for Mena.  Luckily we were staying across the street from a classy little shopping mall that had a few good little dress shops.  We couldn't be picky.  Something appropriate that fit was all I could hope for.  Mena's father arrived with his suit.  We found some shoes to match my dress and a nice shawl to wrap around my shoulders and last but not least a nice hair salon that could set me up with a nice hair do for the occasion.  Easiest wedding planning EVER!

So the next day after putting all this together we head off from our hotel with my mum in tow.  Driven by another friend of Mena's who has a nice car.  I wasn't sure what to expect.  When we arrived at the church we were met by a camera man who was there to document the wedding for Mena's mother and sister who couldn't come from Aswan.  Mena's Uncle Emad had a lovely bouquet of flowers for me to carry down the isle.  The church was not full.  It was a small assembly, but there were more people there than I expected.

A few days after our Church wedding it was time for mum to head home.  The whole wedding experience had been a cultural over load for her and me.  By the time we headed to the Airport I think she was ready to head home.  As soon as she left I missed her terribly.


Now, we still had some business to do in Cairo so we couldn't head off straight away.  We moved into Mena's Grandmother's house and started working on submitting Mena's visa application.  Papers, papers, papers! It never ends!  We needed to get some documents from some places in Cairo and of course the protesting for the Revolution held us up a bit.  But after about a week ... I gave up and left Mena to it and returned to Aswan.

At the moment Mena and I are back in Aswan waiting to hear what the Australian Embassy has to say.  It would be great if we could come back to Australia soon and share our life with people from my family and my friends.  But these things take time and they won't be rushed.  It's all in Gods and now ...and some government worker in some office somewhere.





  

Charades

My whole life has become one giant game of charades.  Living here in Egypt has made me appreciate just how important it is to be heard and understood.  A lot of people in Egypt are able to speak English.  There are even a number of people who are able to speak a few different languages.  It's kind of necessary when most people rely on the tourism industry for their income.  When I met Mena he already knew how to speak English.  He told me that he learnt by watching subtitled American movies.  Simple put, he said if he was going to make any money in the tourism industry he needed to learn English.

I kind of took for granted just how important language is in Australia where mostly everyone knows English and I don't have any trouble communicating what I want from day to day.  But, not knowing the local language can really make your life very hard and the simplest thing can become so difficult.

Something as simple as grocery shopping becomes a huge task.  Telling Mena what I have on my shopping list can become a huge came of charades or Articulate.

"I want to buy some vinegar"  states Peggy

"What is this vin-gar?" asks Mena.  "I don't know this word."

"It's a clear liquid...fluid...looks like water, it smells strong and tastes strong and they use it in cooking and cleaning."

"It's something you can clean with and cook with?  Why would you want to buy something like that?"

"Do they have this in the market?"

"I don't know Habibi, I don't know what your talking about"

At this time I turn to Google translate...."Ah yeah, we have this something in the market."

"Ok, I also want to buy some capsicums"  And it begins again....

One thing I can say about Mena, he is very patient with me and the difficulty with our language has actually made us good at communicating.  We have also come up with a few little strategies that help us get over these little hurdles.  Often I write my shopping list (or list of things to do) on the left side of the page and we translate it together with the aide of Google images or Google translate and Mena copies it out on the left side in Arabic.

Sometimes I get to the end of my day trying to communicate with my work mates, my students, family and friends and I feel absolutely exhausted.  But as they say in Egypt, step-by-step, everyday I learn a little more Arabic and the puzzles get a little easier to solve.

STAMPS!

I had absolutely no idea getting married in a foreign country could be so difficult.  We talk about bureaucracy in Australia and think our government systems are full of red tape and getting something done, like buying a house or dealing with centerlink can become a nightmare.  But that is absolutely nothing compared to the legal process of getting married in Egypt.

If you ever have the urge to go through the process of getting married in Egypt, my only advice is to think really hard about it...I mean, do you love him THAT much?  Because, apart from the huge cultural differences you and your partner will endure, you will have to navigate your way through the most complicated web of red tape that will take you on a sight see tour of Cairo.  The image that pops up in my mind is that advertisement for tourism in Victoria where the girl gets a giant ball of red wool and rolls it all over Melbourne until it is all unraveled all over the city.  Looks like a whole heap of fun when she does it, but getting married in Cairo requires a whole heap of paperwork that needs to be stamped by every major government organisation there is in Cairo in all parts of the city.  There is no government website telling you what you require the whole process feels like a complex 5000 piece puzzle and just when you think you have the last bit of blue sky in place you realize that the last bit just doesn't fit quite right.

Mena and I tried to complete this process when I visited him in April and only got so far.  We had to settle for legal arrangement that wasn't recognized internationally and all for one piece of documentation that for whatever reason Mena could not obtain from the Coptic church.

July...take two....still no success.

September, we have the mystery documentation that is holding up the whole process and we are able to really tackle this whole thing head on.

Back to Cairo we go for the third time.  And, just in case you happen to be going through this process in the near future ....here is a list of documentation we needed to have an internationally recognised legal marriage in Egypt.

1. 5 passport photos
2. 2 copies of my passport and visa
3. 2 copies of Mena's national ID 
4. a document for each of us from the hospital stating that we are both fit enough to get married (ie, able to have children and neither of us is HIV positive.  Can be obtained quite easily without any of the necessary medical testing for a 'fee').
5. A declaration from the Australian Embassy stating that I am single and don't have any children and am free to marry.  (To obtain this I pay the Embassy a 1800 Egyptian pound fee and fill in a form).
6. A document from the Coptic church stating that Mena is not currently married.
7. a family stamp from the post office (by way of paying a marriage tax.  Looks just like a postage stamp)

Of course all of this was made so much easier when I got my passport wet and over stayed my tourist visa.  So I had to apply for a replacement passport and apply for a new visa, paying a 150 Egyptian Pound (or $AU24) fine.  The passport was quite easy.  Just put the application in and wait 10 working day and collect from the Australian Embassy in Cairo.  The visa, however, was a huge pain in the butt.  The visa office in Cairo is at Tahiri square, where all the protesting for the revolution occurs.  There was no protesting while we were there but it's right in the middle of the city and the building is crowded and old and there are a tone of people there all fighting their way to the front of ques at different windows trying to get their various types of visas.  

"You need to fill in this form...go down to that window...buy those stamps...wait in that line...come back tomorrow and wait in this line...give it another 2 hours and return to the other window"  

Each new window is a battle field with bodies pushing their way to the front and people holding their documents over the top of people in order to get to the front of the cue.  I imagine this is what Hell might be like, with the weeping and moaning and the gnashing of teeth.  Well, maybe not quite that bad.

Then there are the stamps for each of the documents.  The embassy paper work needed stamps from 2 different government offices in 2 different parts of the city.  Mena's Coptic church document needed to be stamped by the police to show he was not a wanted criminal. It also needed to be stamped by a father from the mother church in Cairo.  These particular stamps took 3 days to obtain.  All up with the collecting of documents and getting all the relevant stamps, the process took a whole week.  We traveled from one end of the city via taxi or on the Metro.  It was like a crazy version of the amazing race and our final destination was the marriage office.

On our final day in Cairo, we had made it.  We had been up and down, in and out.  We had all our documents, stamped, and re-stamped.  Everything was in order.  We had finally made it.  So off we went to the marriage office with our two witnesses, Mena's uncle and his friend Beshoy.

We submit our papers and hold our breathe as a very important man behind a very large desk reviews them and checks we have everything we need.  Once he was satisfied he hands our papers to a man sitting at....A COFFEE TABLE!  That's right, the man that did most of the processing from that point was operating from a coffee table in the corner of the room.  

He asked us a few routine questions.  "What is your name?"  "What is your father's name?"  "What is your mother's name?" and we wait while he translates all of this into Arabic.  

"Do you accept this man as your husband?" the man behind the coffee table askes.  I turn and look at Mena who keeps his eyes straight ahead, but can feel me looking at him.  I almost want to laugh.  How can anyone ask this of me after the week we had, trappings from one end of Cairo to the other...what if I said no right now?  I couldn't even conceive of the idea.  

"Yes" I answer.

Then the man behind the coffee table points to a line on the form.  "Do you have any special conditions you want to list?"

"Huh".  I wasn't prepared for that questions.  I didn't know they were going to ask that.  If I'd know I would have come to them ready.  I look at Mena again and a whole heap of things run through my mind. 

Possible list of conditions that enter my mind at this point:

1. He must take his dirty dishes to the kitchen
2. Don't leave your towel on the floor
3. address me as your highness or oh great and wonderful wife
4. rub my feet every afternoon after work.
5. Don't complain about my rubbish cooking
6. ect, ect, ect

The one line they put on the page wasn't a big enough space by my estimation.  If they had given me enough warning I'm sure I could have added a few pages of amendments.  As it was I was put on the spot and just answered no.  

We wait while someone types all this up.  When it is done we go back into the office and put our own stamps on the document.  Our thumb prints needed to go on each copy over the passport photo that is attached.  5 thumb prints in total, one for each copy of the document.  In the end I thought it might be a good idea to stamp Mena.  I tried for the middle of his forehead, but only managed to get him on the wrist.

Once that was complete, we were finally married legally in Egypt and in Australia.  YAY, we are done....not quite....would you believe it ....we needed to travel to two other government offices after that and have the document stamped twice more.

I look back on this experience now and think "WOW" we achieved something amazing and hard and we did it together.  If this is the kind of thing we can work out together as a team now, imagine what we might be able to do in a few years time when we know each other so much more.  After all of that, I feel like I know Mena a whole lot more.

WATER PUMP!

Amazing news!

We got our water pump installed last night!

We live on the fourth floor of a five floor building.  I find it hard walking up the 8 flights of stairs every afternoon so it is no wonder the water supply finds it difficult reaching our flat.  Our water supply was gravity fed.  Which means that the supply of water for our flat is higher up than our flat and the water comes to our apartment by the efforts of gravity.  It's a system that was harnessed very well in Roman times.  Being able to use gravity to provide water under pressure was excellent engineering about 2000 years ago.  But the problem with gravity feed is that it isn't that great when you live on the 4th floor.  By the time the water reaches our flat there isn't enough water pressure, and, of course there are 2 other families in our building who get the water before we do.  By the time the water has enough pressure to push up past the lower floors and the other families using the water supply it is about 9pm-10pm at night.

Now, I'm a school teacher and science is one of my favourite subjects, so I have a link here to a great little Youtube video that shows a simple science experiment explaining the height/ water pressure scientific principles. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVr6-x4vbRk

Now, as I said, the water wasn't coming on until about 9pm at night.  Most of the time it was the taps that are lower down that got the water first.  We leave a tap open so that when the water comes we are ready for it.

Nothing at first, then a little trickle...stop.  Then another trickle....stop.  Then  a slow flow with very little pressure.  If I put the plug in the sink I might be able to wash the dishes in about 20 minutes.  Then by about 10pm, the pressure increases some more.  Enough to start filling my twin tub washing machine, but not enough to fill my hot water system, which is in a very high position because the hot water is gravity feed too.

So I put some water in the sink, fill the kettle and the washing machine and I can start the house work.  By the time I finish it's about 1am in the morning, if I have a couple of loads to do.  You can imagine that waking up at 6:30am to go to work is very difficult.  I know the bags under my eyes are starting to make me look older.  When Mena gets home from work at about 2am, he fills some water bottles and buckets with water so that we have water for cooking and washing the next day.

I shouldn't whinge though, my neighbour downstairs has problems with her water too, however, she has a 5 month old baby and a small boy...what a nightmare!

When I first moved in I was told there was a problem with the water supply in town.  "Don't worry, as soon as Ramadan is finished the water supply will be fixed".  I have no idea what the Muslim time of fasting has to do with our water supply, but when Ramadan was over it got better for about a week then got worse.

WE NEED A PUMP! STAT!

Now my Mena is a resourceful kind of guy.  When there is something to be bought or a deal to be made, Mena knows someone, who is the cousin for someone who is the sister for someone who is married to someone else, and one of those people will lend a hand or do a deal or do a trade.  This is how we got our air-conditioner for the lounge room and this is how we got our water pump, and lets just say we didn't pay nearly as much as we should have.

Ok, we have a pump, but, like I say to Mena being awake doesn't mean you are up out of bed.  Likewise, having a pump doesn't mean it's installed and we have water.

So a week (or so) later, last night infact, our glorious fire engine red water pump was installed.  I mention the colour because we all know that anything painted red goes fast and now our water comes out of our taps so quickly and with such great water pressure.  What a happy night, because not only did we have great water pressure, but we also had loads of hot water.  No more bucket showers for me.  We have come a long way from Roman times.

How will this change our lifestyle here?  In so many ways, I can cook diner and wash the dishes straight away.  I can do all the house work and have it finished before 6pm.  With a clean house and all the work completed early I can take on some extra work tutoring in the evenings.  (I mean I could do that anyway, but I never really felt like inviting people into my home while there were dirty dishes lying in the sink).  It won't take so long to fill the washing machine so washing will be done quicker.  No more collecting water in water bottles and storing them on the kitchen benches.  No more collecting water in buckets and keeping them in the bathroom.  I can get my housework done and go to bed early each night.

I know when friends of mine hear that most of my day I didn't have any water, they are a bit shocked.  They say things like "I don't know how you do it!"   I suppose it is easy for me to get caught up in my problems and feel sorry for myself, but there are always others who are worse off.  Some people in Egypt can't afford the cost of a water pump.  Then there are those in other countries who don't have any water near by and have to cart their water for miles to their homes.  Some people don't have the luxury of clean water.  We all know it, we see the pictures on TV all the time.

I count myself very lucky to have my water.  I took it for granted so much in Australia.  I don't think I will ever do that again.

If you want to help people who don't have the luxury of water in their communities here are a few websites of organisations who help provide clean running water.

http://www.africanwellfund.org/wells/
http://www.charitywater.org/

The average water pump in Egypt only costs about $AU200.  Installation was about $AU150.  Who knows how something as simple as a water pump might impact on the lives of the people who will benefit from it.

Note:  I'm not affiliated with any of these organisations I just looked them up on the net and thought they were great.

A Square peg in a round hole.

The most common question I get asked by my friends is, 'what are the major cultural differences?'  I hate it when people ask me that question because the list of things is so long and exhaustive that it really can't be answered in a simple way.  Sometimes it feels like I have a whole heap of rules I need to learn and follow.  Other times it's an obstacle that Mena and I need to problem solve to get around. 

My favourite cultural difference to talk about it the way Egyptian, or Arabic people in general do their names.  It's totally different to the western traditions.  Western people have a first name that is given to them that is individual to the person.  Their second name is also individual to the person.  Oh yeah, I know, some people are named after relatives, but it's not a rule or a law that you have to do that.  Then your last name is your family name which is passed down from your father or bestowed upon you at marriage.  Now, Arabic names are generational, like reading the generations in the bible.  For instance, Mena's fathers name is Michael, his grandfathers name is Kamal and his great grandfathers name is Habib.  So, Mena's full name is Mena Michael Kamal Habib and our son if he is named Bob (which he won't be) will be called Bob Mena Michael Kamal.  They only list the first four names, otherwise it gets a little crazy.  What about the girls I hear you ask, yep, same with the girls.  If we have a girl and call her Gertrude(which we won't), then she will be called, Gertrude Mena Michael Kamal. 

Wives don't change their names to their husbands name, they keep their fathers name.  Which means that our family would have a father known as Mena Michael Kamal Habib and a mother know as Peggy Elizabeth Blachford and two children called Bob Mena Michael Kamal  and Gertrude Mena Michael Kamal.  All I can think of at this stage is "What a nightmare that will be when it comes to school forms and stuff like that".  How can we keep the Arabic tradition and the western tradition at the same time? 

Well, we both decided that I would take my husband's name (I'm a traditional kind of woman).  Mena was kind of chuffed with this idea and I think he liked me changing my name to his name.  We had 3 last names to choose from though, Michael, Kamal or Habib.  As I didn't like Kamal or Habib I chose Michael.  Now our kids will still have all the Arabic names but in Australia we will only state the first three, Bob Mena Michael and Gertrude Mena Michael.  It does mean that both our children will have the same middle name, but I think it's nice that we keep that tradition intact.  In Egypt they will learn to state all four of their names.  Problem solved! 

That is a good example of a cultural problem that we kind of worked out together.  However, when a western girl moves to an Arabic country some other adjustments need to be made (at least while I live here).  The most obvious ones include the clothes I wear.

·         I can't wear low necklines or capped sleeves.  My dresses and skirts should go past my knees.  I should try not to wear fitted things. 

·         Then there are rules about the house.  I'm not allowed to have a male in the house while Mena is not home, even if he comes to visit with his wife.  I'm not allowed to go and visit a house with a male in it without Mena with me, even if I'm going to visit the man's wife. 

·         I can't be visible in the house when a workman is visiting to fix stuff I have to hide in a room or go to my neighbour's house. 

·         I can't leave the house or go out of my building on my own; I have to go with Mena or a trusted friend. 

·         I can only greet woman with a hug and kiss on the cheek, never a man.  Can't even kiss my own husband on the cheek in public.

·         It's not appropriate to smile at someone you don't know in the street (you have no idea how often you do this without even realizing it).

Ok, so you think a lot of this stuff is a bit over the top, but, most of the rules are there just to protect you and keep you safe.  Some don't require that much effort at all.  I wasn't really put out too much by the rules regarding clothing as I was never the kind of person to wear short skirts anyway.  Other rules, like, not being able to go out without a friend is kind of hard for me.  I hate shopping with other girls.  I like taking my time on my own to go shopping.  I like the idea of going where I want when I want.  This rule has taken some time to adjust to. 

It pays to be flexible, adjust your expectations and don't hold on to stuff too tightly.  I've had to really evaluate what makes me who I am as well as consider what is important to Mena.  There are good things about some of these changes.  I really feel like I'm cared for, loved and protected at times, other times I can feel kind of restricted and limited, however, on the most part that has everything to do with your own attitude towards things.

Home is where your heart is.

Now I have lived in lots of different places before, but there is something unique and special about the flat I share with Mena.

When I moved out of my parents 4 bedroom low set house at the age of 17 to join the Air Force I lived in a dormitory.  When I was about 20 I moved out of the dorms and into a little 3 bedroom house that I rented with my Air Force house mate.  When I went to Uni at the age of 25 I was back in the dorms again before I got a bit tired of the teenagers and decided renting a granny flat would be the best option for me.  When I got my first teaching job in an Aboriginal community I lived in a few different houses and shared with a couple of different teachers.  After my stint in the community it was back home to my mother.  I kind of needed the break from all the moving and temporary accommodation.  I had been here and there all over the place for about 12 or 13 years.  I just needed to settle down and find a place to call my own.

Now I have settled down with my new husband on Mahmoudaya Road, Dr Girgis Building, Aswan.

This flat kind of fell upon us.  It wasn't our first choice.  We were originally offered a rooftop 'granny flat' in a friends family building, but unfortunately that fell through 3 weeks before I was due to move to Egypt.  When Mena told me this bad news about the flat my jaw dropped.  I was moving to Egypt in 3 weeks and I had nowhere to live.  More than the panic I felt in my stomach, I felt extremely sorry for my Mena.  I knew that having a good place for us to live arranged before I arrived was really important to him and the stress of looking for such a place was entirely on him alone.

What goes through your head when you are moving to a place like Egypt in 3 weeks with no place to go to....well to be very honest with you, I think I was nervous about it for about a day.  Until I went to church and talked about it with my church family.  I don't know how it happened, but for probably the first time in my life I just let it go.  God would provide what I needed in just the right time...and he did.

When I got home from church that afternoon Mena sounded relieved.  A doctor friend of his who had offered to let us rent in his building had said he would be more than happy for us to have the flat above his.  The only thing was, it needed to be built.  At that time it was just an empty shell, just bricks and mortar.  The race was on.  Work began the very next day and workers were there 7 days a week trying to complete the flat enough for us to live in.  Just so that you can understand, Egyptians have their own timezone and it seems to move a lot slower than the one in Australia.  We knew people who had taken 6 months to a year to renovate their flats in Aswan.

Our flat was completed to a livable state in 4 weeks.  When I got to Aswan I spent 1 week in a hotel before we were able to move in.  I mean there were things that weren't finished, like the kitchen and other bits and pieces.  The workmanship really did reflect the rushed effort to get it completed.  But, it was done and we were home.  Now we are on the 4th floor of the Dr Girgis building on Mahmoudaya road.  God knew what he was doing when he put us here.  We have excellent neighbours and without them I would be totally lost in this country.  This flat is not just a home, it offered a connection to a fantastic Egyptian family.

Step by step after that the incomplete things have been kind of completed.  First things first was the kitchen.  Then connecting the hot water system.  Then installing the exhaust fans in the bathroom and kitchen (although connecting them to electricity is a whole other job).  Air-conditioning in the lounge room, a washing line out the window in the second bedroom.  A water pump installed so we can have running water all the time (I wait in anticipation as that will be any day now).

Step by step things are being completed.  Slowly our flat is becoming a home.  There are no pretty things like trinkets and pictures on the walls, all the furniture is second hand and by Australian standards it is small, but slowly it is becoming a home and in the process of building it we have learnt a lot about renovating a flat in Egypt and about each other.

They are humble beginnings.  I can already tell that we will speak fondly of this little flat when we are old.  Although I pretty sure that if I asked Mena where our home was we would both agree, it is wherever we are.

How did I get here?

Ok, where to begin.  My name is Peggy Michael.  I'm from Brisbane, Australia and I live in Aswan, Egypt.

How did I get here?  That is the question I often ask myself when I find myself in a situation that highlights just how foreign I am.  I mean, I could tell the back story in great detail, but then this would no longer be a blog, more a novelette.  Let's just say that, I met my husband while cruising on the Nile river.  He was working in a little tourist shop on the cruise boat and once we met, there was no turning back.

It was the Australian Christmas school holidays 2011/2012 and I was taking a tour of Egypt, Jordan and Israel.  My mother jokingly warned me before I left her at the airport not to marry an Egyptian man while I was away.  I met Mena within my first week of being in Egypt, we clicked and from that moment.  When I left him and continued on the rest of my tour it was clear we couldn't be apart.  We kept in regular contact with each other on skype and he asked me to return to his home town of Aswan, Egypt to meet his mother and father.  The idea of travelling back to strange and unfamiliar place to meet a man I hardly knew so he could introduce me to his family was a little scary.  When I asked my mother for advice on what to do, she naturally begged me to return to Australia.  But there was something about Mena and the connection we had that told me in my gut that it would be ok.  So, I jumped on a plane and headed back to Aswan.

I don't think I fully realized just how committed Mena already was when I made that trip.  It seems that 'dating' is a western idea that is inappropriate in Egypt, so according to Mena's friends, we were already engaged to each other.  This was something he told them in order to limit the gossip amoungst his friends and family and he assured me that although he was telling his friends we were engaged I had no obligation to him and if I decided I didn't want to see him again after this visit he would just tell them the engagement was broken off.  But, by the end of my week visiting his family before I returned home to Australia to start another school year, it was clear to both of us that we planned on spending our lives together.

What would this mean?  Where would we live?  How would we share a life together?

Everyone had their opinion about our relationship.  They either thought we were crazy, or that I was being taken advantage of or well...that we were nuts.  But the bottom line was, we knew each other in a way that counted the most.  The details would come later.

Once I got home to Australia the plans started to evolve.  At first the plan was for me to return in June/July to become Coptic (Egyptian Orthodox) and get married.  But after some time it was clear that Mena's family didn't agree with our plans, and the laws regarding marriage to a foreigner were 'troublesome' so our ideas changed.  Being apart from each other proved to be difficult too, so we decided that I would return to Egypt in the April school holidays and become married in a civil union, return to Australia until September and then come back to Egypt and start a new life here with my new husband.

Oh my goodness, who can wait so long when they have decided the course of their life.  Plan C, takes effect.  No more waiting until September, when our marriage plans fell through due to paperwork and legal difficulties in April, we decided not to wait until September.  Instead I would make my move in the June/July school holidays.

That's how I ended up here in Egypt.  I met an amazing man, fell in love, decided that I couldn't live without him and moved to Egypt.  I've been here 3 months now and believe me, there has been a fair share of ups and downs along the way.  Moving to another country is difficult.  Moving to a country that is culturally the polar opposite to your own is more difficult, doing this while beginning a marriage with a man you love, but don't really know is, well, difficult.  So far it's been totally worth it.  I have cried, boy oh boy have I cried.  Anyone who knows me well will know that it's not unusual for me to get teary.  I can see my mother nodding in agreement as she reads this.  But there have been a lot of laughs too and I even look upon some of the crazy hard stuff now and smile, even laugh at our adventure so far.

I wish I had started writing this blog from the beginning because there are heaps of little stories that have been worth telling and now I have to play catch up to fill you all in.

Be ready for the next installment of my crazy new life in Egypt.